In the season of holiday giving, we often rush around trying to find the perfect gift for everyone—everyone except ourselves. We turn ourselves inside out, trying to please others, and lose some of our balance, our equilibrium. Taking the time to check inside and find out what we really need is an important and healthy thing to do. Maybe we need to find a way back to calmness, or maybe we need to connect back with ourselves. Perhaps we need to take some quiet time, or to buy ourselves something that will make us feel good, something that others would never think of getting us. Whatever it is you need to do, give yourself permission to do it. In taking care of ourselves, we make the world around us a better place, because we are more loving and centered people. And taking care of ourselves lets others know that they can do that, too.

Give yourself time to think about what you need from yourself this holiday season. You might want to make a list, writing down whatever comes to you, and then seeing what feels the most important. Maybe you need to give yourself the gift of time—time alone, time to relax, time to read a good book, watch a movie, write in your diary, or time to just sleep. Or maybe you need to give yourself the gift of reaching out to others, of asking for a hug, for some talk time, or for the company of someone you love.

What is it that you want to do, that you keep putting off? Do you want to write poetry, paint a painting, go on a picnic, take a pottery class? Give yourself permission to do that thing. Give yourself that gift.

Or maybe what you want is something material–that music player or favorite movie that you’ve been eying in the store, but never buy yourself. Denying yourself special things while giving to others does not make you a better person. Rather, it could indicate a lack of self-love or self-value. You deserve to have something that pleases you, that makes you feel good. What other reason is there for money, after meeting our basic needs? It should be enjoyed. Of course, you won’t want to put yourself into unmanageable debt or make it hard to pay your bills, and you may want to plan for your future well being. But a gift to yourself may be just what you need, and can be a positive thing.

Whatever gift you decide to give yourself, take a few moments to notice it, to appreciate it, and to appreciate yourself. You deserve to have a gift that you will value, as much as anyone else you’re giving a gift to. Allow yourself that pleasure–and have some fun!

©Cheryl Rainfield, 2003